Has S&P bitten off more than it can chew? It has managed the considerable feat of alienating the entire American public, most of Europe’s governments and now it’s drawing withering fire from the White House. Given members of the Democratic Party will probably have a fairly big say in the fate of ratings agencies like S&P, this seems a little tin-eared.
Or maybe it’s just plain courageous! Courageous like one of those javelin-hurling warriors in Apocalypto, dashing heedlessly through the jungle in pursuit of their prey. I picture this band of braves as the financial services industry, with S&P struggling along at the back, charged with carrying the weapons.
Suddenly the party stops.
“It’s a panther!” the leader whispers. “Give me a spear, quick!”
“But I’ve only got bows and arrows,” S&P whispers in return.
“What the …” the leader controls himslef. “What possessed you to leave the spears behind?”
“Well, we’re chasing a man, and arrows are usually enough, right?”
“Wrong, idiot! The jungle is full of other dangerous stuff, remember. Like the bloody panther that’s about to eat the lot of us!”
“Uh … sorry boss.”
“You should be sorry, pal! Thanks to you, we’re gonna have to wrestle this thing down with our bare hands. A lot of guys are gonna lose limbs. Maybe even die! The only reason I’m not taking your head off here and now is because we need every man we have to get this done!”
The party returns to the city, badly mauled, carrying their dead. The leader wants to chop off the weapons carrier’s head, but the army needs good weapons guys, so he gets a reprieve.
But he is shamed, and he squats in his house as everyone in the city whispers about him and his doltish behavior.
In the long nights, he dreams of rehabilitating his reputation.
After several months, he thinks he has the answer. An act of unspeakable bravery, the kind of act his people will talk about for generations after his death.
He wakes up one morning, takes the stoutest spear in the armory and sets out alone.
“Where are you off to, then?” the guards on the gate ask.
“I’m going after the tiger!”
“You’re a pure nutter, mate!” they jeer, and throw coconut husks at him.
For weeks, he stalks the tiger. It’s a frustrating hunt, but one day, at noon, he comes upon it, gorging on a deer.
He moves into position, balancing his spear. A twig snaps under his foot. The tiger’s massive head comes up, blood dripping fro its jaws. The huge beast sniffs the air, turns it’s head.
It sees the man.
The tiger knows it should run. But it’s hungry! It wants to eat the deer!
The man sees the indecision in the tiger’s eyes, and he throws the spear. It’s not the best throw, by any means, but it finds its mark deep in the tiger’s flank. The beast roars at the man, and prepares to spring. The man suddenly realizes he has no more weapons - all he brought was the spear - and he is alone in the jungle.
He looks up at the sunshine streaming through the trees above him. He remembers his wife, his children, the simple pleasures of a pipe of tobacco, of washing his feet in a cool stream.
The tiger roars again…
To be continued.
